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Don't Over-Network

Karen Salmansohn, author of "The Bounce Back Book"
September 23, 2007.

When it comes to advancing one's career, it seems that there's constant cultural pressure to amass more people as friends, colleagues and potential job leads. However, this defeats the purpose of networking to begin with.

The original goal of networking is to meet people who will make your life happier and more fulfilling. But if you're always spending time creating a quantity of non-quality relationships, it can mean that you're not taking the time to enjoy fulfillment readily found with the people you already know.

Do you have a network of truly amazing people whom you never get to see because you put too much emphasis on networking?

If so, this is the result of what Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman calls "The Happiness Hedonic Treadmill," which refers to how humans have a tendency to always want more. He hypothesizes that humans are never satisfied with an achievement, because they're always looking out for what else they can acquire.

This is why lottery winners often return to their former levels of happiness within a year, and why you might not be feeling so happy right now. Perhaps you're too focused on all those distant dangling carrots on the horizon, rather than appreciating the carrots you've already harvested.

Keep in mind that happiness researchers often report that having a network of intimates is the top determinant for joy. Hence, it's important to make sure you're not spending more time networking with strangers and creating superficial relationships than you are enjoying the good friends you already have. If you ignore your treasured relationships for too long, they will eventually evaporate.